Husband Pranks Wife
by Awsme Grl
Summary: On the road to become a pranking legend, Luffy attempts to prank his wife. We all know that he is a terrible liar but what happens if a certain sharpshooter intervenes and shows him how? Read to find out! [Non-canon episode of OALS]
1. Teaching the Young Grasshopper

Usopp grinned triumphant, standing majestically like a powerful ruler as Luffy and Chopper grovelled on the ground below him, declaring him to be a Prank God.

"No one can beat you, Usopp-sama!" shouted Chopper with tears and stars oozing shamelessly from his eyes.

"Yeah! You're the best prankster ever!" added Luffy who was dripping from head to toe with dirty pond water thanks to one of Usopp's pranks. It was a good thing he listened to Nami and brought an extra pair of clothing. But the main concern was the God who stood proud before him.

It was a game all 3 of them played. All Usopp's idea. The long nose even insisted that they play 2 against one to see who could succeed with the most pranks. So far, Luffy and Chopper were able to prank him 3 times, while on the other hand, he pranked them 30.

They wandered far away from the group. Everyone planned to meet up for a picnic in the biggest park in town but the 3 of them had been away for nearly 4 hours.

Luffy gulped. He knew that Nami would be pissed and would probably bury him the minute she sees him but he needed answers.

He stood tall with his back straight and hands firm at his side. "How do you do that?" he asked.

"Hmmm? What was that?" Usopp cocked his ear with a too smug grin.

"How do you do that, Usopp-sama? What's your secret?"

Chopper stood soon after nodding profusely. He too wanted to know.

"Do you really want to know?" said Usopp.

Both his loser friends nodded almost in sync, holding their breaths in anticipation.

Wind blew and played with their hair and upon the moment it seized, Usopp hopped off his throne and threw an arm over Luffy's shoulders, grinning like the champion he was.

"I can teach you but you'll never be as good as me. You okay with that?"

"That's fine."

Usopp knew a damsel in distress when he saw one. He could not blame his captain. The chap just hated losing. This factor made him a promising student.

* * *

"Tip #1," Usopp declared showing a single finger pointed up, high above his head. "Is the element of surprise. You got that?"

"Hai!"

"Tip #2 is that you must be able to establish and muster up your best poker face. We must remember that pranks are just little playful lies- A lie so believable, so crafty, the receiver would have never seen it coming and would have no choice but to fall for it."

His disciples were intent listeners which was impressive. If they had notebooks accompanied with pens, he'll be sure that they would be jotting down each tip word for word. But he was worried about one student in particular.

"Luffy."

Upon being called on, the captain stood up.

"Lie."

"What?"

"Just do it. Lie about anything."

"Oh okay." Luffy gave it some thought. "I can't think of anything..."

Usopp decided to give him some help. "What about the shirt you're wearing? Lie about the colour."

Luffy cast his eyes on his red button-up. "... My shirt is blue."

"Good."

Luffy grinned. Never thought it would be so easy.

"Now try again. Try pranking me."

"Umm... Your shoelaces are untied."

"Are they? Are they really?"

"Uh-yeah." Luffy commenced shuffling on his feet.

"Thank you, Luffy. You may now sit down." Usopp's eyes fell on his next student. "Chopper."

"Hai?"

The doctor stood next.

"You were observing what just took place, weren't you?"

"Yes. I didn't miss a thing."

"That's good to hear. Very good."

Chopper blushed at the praise.

"Now could you please recap to me what a prank is?"

"It's a lie. A lie that's supposed to be believable- but not serious lies. Only playful ones."

"I couldn't have said it better myself! Now what I want you to do for me is to tell me about Luffy's second lie. Did you think that it was a good one?"

"I did."

"Me too. But what do you think was wrong about it? Was it believable?"

"No..."

"Why?"

"Luffy hesitated at first, his tone of voice was not believable at all, and his body language was off. I could clearly see that he was lying."

"But-" Luffy started with a defeated frown but Usopp wanted him to listen closely.

"Shh, Luffy. Pay attention. Tell us more about his body language, Chopper. What did you notice?"

"He couldn't look you in the eye, his face got all sweaty and he couldn't stop moving around on his feet."

"Thank you. Well done."

As Chopper sat, basking in praise his attention was bought again when the Great Usopp-sama resumed talking.

"Chopper mentioned 3 important points: execution, tone and body language. Master those and you will be a legend.

"The next tip is-" Luffy raised his hand and Usopp gave him the light of day.

"I'm going to need some help... I know that I'm terrible liar. I've always been."

"I thought that you'd never ask." Usopp felt so proud of his captain. Always had prided himself whenever Luffy sought him out for assistance. It was a thrill being a catalyst for growth.

"So you'll help me?"

"Of course."

"How long would it take?"

"I can't tell you off the tip of my tongue, since your case is... special. But I would give you a week to redeem yourself. 3 hours a day, and you'll be a man of steel!"

"Woah! Thanks Usopp!"

"No problem. But that leads us to another problem."

"What?"

"We're going to need a test subject... Someone who trusts you more than anything. Someone close... who could it be?"

"What about Nami?" Chopper suggested, "She trusts Luffy and loves him a lot. What about her?"

"A fine choice, Chopper! Great minds do indeed think alike. What do you say, Luffy?"

The captain was silent, looking at the long nose hard before he spoke. "I'm not pranking my wife."

"Why not? Don't you want to be better at this?"

"I do but why does it have to be Nami?"

"Luffy, who trusts you more than your wife?"

"No one." That question didn't require much thought.

"That makes her perfect for this."

"But I still don't like it."

"Come on! It's harmless fun- harmless fun. No one's getting hurt. It'll be exciting. Not all pranks are bad."

"... That's true."

"So what do you say? Pass this round and you might have a high chance of beating me."

Luffy took the bait. "I'll do it."

"Atta-boy! Training begins tomorrow. Let's go back to the others."

As they walked back, Luffy had even more questions which Usopp was quick to answer with his arm slung over his shoulders.

"A total of 4 pranks will be ideal."

"That's a good number."

"Let's just hope by the end of all this, she doesn't kill you. If she does, I promise I'll come to your funeral. But think of all the fun you're gonna have!"

Fear crept into the depths of Luffy's stomach.

"Yeah... fun."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

 **Hola! Awsme Grl at your service. I had another story idea planned but got wrapped up in watching Couple prank videos on Youtube and thought of this. Was gonna park it to the side but found myself thinking about this almost daily. This is just for fun. It's not a serious fic.**

 **Thanks for reading, see you in the next chappy.**


	2. The I-don't-want-to-kiss-you Prank

Luffy, Chopper and Usopp were in the training room minutes after work. The captain in the mean time wracked at the hanging punching bag while under witness of the two crewmates.

Believe it or not, this was a part of Usopp's 'intensive' training. And it worked according to plan.

"What are you idiots doing?" Zoro asked, finding himself in the training room instead of the exit. His pride will never allow him to admit that he was lost.

"Go away, Zoro. Shoo-shoo. Luffy' s trying to concentrate," said Usopp.

"... Whatever." The swordsman didn't care. He had more important matters to worry about.

When the door closed, Usopp resumed, facing Luffy with a gulp and sweat on his brow. The captain was more serious than he thought.

The questioning began.

"Luffy!"

"Hai?"

"What colour is the sky?"

"Green!"

"What's your favourite food?"

"Salad!"

"What's your favourite pastime?"

"Swimming!"

"Who is your father?"

"I have no father!" (Somewhere in the building Dragon sneezed and became deeply depressed. Someone was talking about him.)

The chains burst and the poor bag was sent flying across the room; left tortured and forgotten.

Luffy heaved in oxygen and after taking off his gloves, he steadied himself with his hands on his hips, smile bigger than a kid in a candy store.

Chopper's eyes were stars after seeing the awesomeness. The coach nodded.

"He's ready."

Luffy walked over and sat in an awaiting chair and almost instantly, a towel was draped over his shoulders and a bottle of water was in his hand. As he drank, Usopp drummed at his shoulders; Helping ease the tension.

Instead of 1 week, it took 2. And Usopp's judgement was spot on. Luffy had become a man of steel.

"That was amazing, Luffy."

"Thanks. Am I ready now, Usopp?"

"More like born to be ready- You have definitely reached your peak."

'Shishishishi'

"Now tell us about the starter prank. Something tells me it went well." Usopp grinned. For the first test, he made Luffy buy Nami fake flowers but the catch was that he had to convince her that they were real.

"It went well actually. After she smelled them, she wasn't buying it so I told her that if she put them in some water she would. And she believed me! Her face when I told her it was a prank was priceless. 'Shishishishi'. I could not stop laughing."

"Brilliant! But what's important is that you didn't die, right?"

"Right. She did end up saying that you were rubbing off on me... A bad influence, she said."

Usopp ignored the accusation and bent down to meet Luffy's gaze. Hands anchoring on the armrests and nose touching between the captain's eyes.

"The real deal starts tomorrow. I know you can do it. But the real question is: Are you ready?"

"Yes," Luffy said all serious.

"Now go. Don't look back. And good luck."

Luffy gave a firm nod and as Usopp cleared the way, he walked out the room for his first mission with the aim to win.

As they watched him leave, Usopp dabbed at his eyes with a tissue to wipe the tears away.

*Sniff* *Sniff* "They grow up so fast."

"They sure do..." Chopper's eyes trailed down to the sniper's shoes. "Hey Usopp."

"Hm?"

"Your shoelaces are untied."

"Oh. Thank you." As he reached down to fix the imperfection, his eyes widened at the neatly tied bows."

The young doctor giggled behind his hands.

"Dammit Chopper!"

* * *

 **Prank #1: The I-don't-want-to-kiss-you Prank**

One long, relaxing bath later, Nami was in her jammies applying moisturizer to her face when Luffy walked in and started brushing his teeth at his sink.

She smiled at him in the mirror and was delighted to get one in return which dimmed her thoughts about something being off about today. She just couldn't put her finger on it.

"Going to bed soon?" Nami asked as he wiped his face and accepted the moisturizer she pushed his way. It had done wonders for his skin.

"Yeah." As he moisturized he watched her oil the ends of her freshly washed hair with that sweet almond oil she had the custom of using. And he did so until her long orange locks were secured in a cute little bun. The act always fascinated him.

"I'll come join you soon," she said and Luffy made an affirmative hum and left the room.

Lately, she had decided it best to share a bedtime and a bed with her husband 4 times a week instead of 2. Night time was the time she dedicated to her beloved trade but she had been missing out on plenty of sleep lately so as a result, things had to change. Sleep was way more fulfilling when she slept at Luffy's side and he had no complaints about the new sleeping arrangements. As a matter of fact, he seemed pretty happy. So to Nami, it was like killing two birds with one stone.

She finished up her night time routine and switched the bathroom light off and proceeded to do the same for the other lights in the apartment.

When through, she yawned and made way to Luffy's room. Sleep was calling.

It was dark but she was still able to find her way under the covers. A skilled navigator at heart.

Before sleep could steal the show, Nami's eyes peeled back open. She figured it out.

"Luffy?" She nudged his arm. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah." He had a strong feeling about what she was going to say next. Honestly didn't expect it to take the whole day for her to finally notice.

"We didn't kiss today."

She was under the suspicion that he was avoiding her. Before he left for work, he was in a hurry; Upon returning, he had made up an excuse saying that he had to look for something and whenever she advanced, he would find a reason to leave the room.

"Yeah? So?"

"I mean, doesn't it bother you?" She reached over and switched on the bedside lamp and found him laying on his side facing away from her. "Turn around."

Luffy did as told and was almost caught off guard completely when his wife had already gotten super close to his face. He had to think fast and quickly covered his mouth.

Her lips met knuckles and she opened her eyes confused to see the wall of defense.

"No."

"What do you mean by 'no'?"

"It doesn't bother me."

She scanned his face for answers but what she found was that he was as serious as the day he asked her to marry him.

Her throat stinged for a brief moment. Her body was still trying to process what the hell was going on.

"What exactly doesn't bother you, Luffy?"

She was hoping that her ears were failing her.

"That we didn't kiss today. You said so yourself. We didn't and I don't mind one bit. I actually don't even care."

"Why are you saying all that?"

Her suspicions were right. He _had_ been avoiding her.

"Is kissing that important to you?"

"It is."

"Well sorry. I've decided." What he said next was the start of Nami's anger. "I don't want to kiss you anymore."

"Then who would you kiss then?"

"No one."

That was the breaking point and Nami shuffled out of the covers and was about to take her leave but Luffy did not panic. He knew exactly what to do next.

* * *

 _"What do I do if she decides to leave, Usopp?"_

 _"Just hold her back."_

 _"Okay... But what if she tries to force one on me?"_

 _"Trust me. You'll know what to do."_

 _"Are you sure about this?"_

 _"Positive. This prank is seamless."_

* * *

Before Nami could take another step further, Luffy reached out and held her arm, gently yanking her back in bed.

She protested but after breathless struggle there was no other choice but to let Luffy cuddle her up in his arms which was something he knew she loved. However, all she could do was glare at his beaming face.

"For the last time, let me go."

"No."

"Luffy-"

"I said that I didn't want us to kiss anymore, not snuggle. I love snuggling." 'Shishishishi'

Nami cracked a smile and moved her hand to comb through his raven hair and Luffy panicked only a little. She knew his weakness!

The tone of her voice changed as she eased in closer staring him directly in the eyes. He had to remember his training!

"You don't want to kiss me anymore, huh?"

"That's right."

"Fine. What if I just steal them instead?"

"Then I'll be mad."

The seriousness was back and Nami froze, mentally repeating what he said in her mind over and over again. At this moment, her pot of anger had already began to boil. She wanted to leave. Couldn't stand being in the same room as him.

The same hand she used to show affection was now going to show him pain.

Nami left him in a ball holding his stomach, namely the part she delivered the ruthless punch. The last thing he remembered while seeing stars was the loud slamming of the door.

She was mad. And the prank was a success.

* * *

Rays reflected off the glass window and warmed Nami's long, bare legs. Slowly awakening, she stretched her arms outwards above her head and threw them back around what seemed to be her husband who held her protectively while he slept.

She opened her eyes and smiled up at him. God, she was so in love with this man.

She registered her surroundings and found that she was in her sleeping quarters and last night's tirade came back to her all at once.

How the hell did he have the nerve to find himself in her room?

Nami wiggled herself out of his grip, stood at a safe distance and threw throw pillows at him. Comically, the last one sent Luffy right off the bed.

"Ow! Oh hey, Nami," he said while smiling, "Good morning."

"Don't start playing games with me, Luffy. I'm not going to pretend that nothing happened last night. Why are you in my room? Didn't I say to leave me alone?"

"Last night I came to tuck you in. I wanted to sleep beside you so I stayed. You even started latching onto me as well so I just thought-"

Nami blushed, ashamed at her unconscious state. "I was asleep. But why? What part of leaving me alone don't you understand?"

"I can't do that. We're married."

Nami sucked in her lips. Who was he to tell her about the roles of marriage?

"Last night you -"

"It was a prank."

"What?"

"A prank."

She was at a loss, wondering if she should be mad, relieved or downright impressed. She couldn't decide but she had to make sure.

Luffy returned to his spot in bed and Nami sat next to him.

"Prove it."

He kissed her soft on the lips and Nami realized that she was more relieved than anything.

"There. It was just a - mmph!?"

She grabbed him by the ears and returned what he gave to her with much more fervour.

Pulling away for breath, Nami leered down at Luffy's ravished state. His red cheeks looked good against her emboidered orange sheets.

"I could have murdered you last night."

Luffy cracked a nervous smile. "Thanks for sparing me."

Like a cat playing with its prey, Luffy was as still as can be while Nami straddled him. Any sudden move could mean his downfall.

He had to go get ready for work but was attacked again for the second time that morning.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

That's a wrap! Hope you enjoyed. See you in the next one.


	3. The I-cheated Prank (GONE WRONG)

In a certain beauty supplies store, Usopp headed straight to the perfume section. Lucky for him, he did not see the looks some of the female customers were sending his way. Some looked on with little smiles and giggles thinking that he was buying a special gift for a special girl in his life. Unfortunately, all those assumptions were dead wrong.

Not only was Usopp's nose uniquely shaped, he also had a great sense of smell. After coming across the winning fragrance, he flipped it around to check the price tag and was floored by the price. $289.50 for a small, dainty bottle of perfume. Unbelievable.

He replaced it with care, realizing his mistake. Should have listened to his gut and go to a cheap department store instead. Usopp took pride in going the extra mile but not when it could cost him a whole arm and leg.

"There's samples of that in the back. If you like, I can get you one."

Usopp's skin crawled and he turned around to come face to face with the store assistant who stood too close for comfort. How long she stood there for was unknown. Brown eyes, with light green hair and skin as white as snow, she was. Her name tag gave way to her identity. Monet was her name.

Sensing his surprise, she smirked and licked her lips. There was nothing she liked more than getting a man excited.

"Well?"

"Hai. One sample would do. Thanks."

Monet stayed in place, smile still present and Usopp sweated bullets.

"Could you not stand so close, please. I have someone I like."

"Oh. That's too bad. Can I help you with anything else?"

"Some lipstick, preferably red."

"I have the perfect colour. Follow me."

Monet led Usopp to the lipstick section and he sweat-dropped at the numbers. Who knew that there were so many variations of one colour? No wonder women were so complicated. He pitied them.

When handed the mentioned 'perfect colour' Usopp had to clamp a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from screaming. The simple container which weighed less than an ounce was a whopping $86.93.

"Would you like a sample of this product as well?"

"Y-Yes please."

* * *

"What's all this?" Luffy inspected the items Usopp dumped on the office table.

As usual, their shenanigans were done after work. It was just the two of them today. Chopper left early for his shift at the local hospital.

On display were various lipsticks, eye-shadows, fragrances and the like. The store carried samples for almost every item sold and Usopp took advantage. The levels of lead in beauty products was appalling and Usopp wondered how women were being tricked into buying them. Nevertheless, the leftovers would be used in upcoming experiments he had planned.

"Are we playing dress up?"

"No."

Luffy noticed a particular colour and picked it out of the bunch. Usopp's eyes followed. It had an orange-red pigment.

"Nami has this same exact colour."

Usopp wasn't the only one who appreciated the convenience of free samples.

"... That means that we can't use that one." He chose a lighter shade. It was pink with a hint of peach. "Perfect. Luffy, my boy. Are you ready for Prank #2?"

"Yeah!" Luffy was more than eager to find out what he had to do for his next assignment.

Next, Usopp chose a perfume from the pile. It's scent was of citrus seduction. Perfect for the random girl on a night out looking for some fun.

"What do I have to do?"

"First, hand it over."

"What?"

"Your ring."

Luffy knew exactly what ring he was referring to. After all, it was the only piece of jewelry he wore and it was snug and safe on his left hand's ring finger. His guard was now up and he blocked his hand away from the sniper's view.

"No."

Only on very few occasions, Luffy dared to to part from his ring. I repeat: on very few occasions. He loved it not because of its weight in gold- he didn't care about that- but because it was the very first gift he got from his wife. He treasured it as much as he did Shanks' hat.

"I'm not taking it from you, it's for the plan."

"... Okay. Just promise to give it back."

Usopp held up the band and took note of the heaviness and beautiful design.

"You wear this thing all the time, huh?"

"I do."

"Would Nami notice it if it's gone?"

"Yes. She would." Nami didn't miss a thing.

Usopp's smile turned sinister.

"Good."

* * *

 **Prank #2: The I-cheated Prank (GONE WRONG)**

The instant Luffy reached home, he turned off the engine, unbuckled the seat belt and eyed the bag of goods Usopp prepared for the day's prank. It had been a week since the last one and a second one was due. After this, there will be two more left.

In the bag was the bottle and lipstick Usopp carefully picked out himself and a hand written note of a phone number complimented with a coloured in heart. This kind of prank spoke for itself. He was told to spill the beans after she got suspicious. To say that he cheated and to treat the matter like it was no big deal.

The instructions were simple: (1) Douse yourself with the perfume (2) Swab a bit of lip stick on your shirt's collar and (3) Place the number along with your car keys on the kitchen counter or anywhere that she could see it.

Of course it took persistence to get Luffy to actually agree with carrying out this prank. Nami made it crystal clear that she will not tolerate cheating. He wanted nobody else and he made sure to let her know.

It was unthinkable but Usopp though understanding had said that it was only a prank; that what he was doing was far from the truth. And what did we say a prank was? A playful lie.

Luffy had his ring in his right pants' pocket. He was to leave it off until he exposed the prank. This extra detail was to 'throw gas into the fire'. The outcome was going to be obvious. Nami would be mad.

A thought popped into his head. He asked himself what he would do and feel if she did this to him? Cheat and not give a damn about it? Prank or not, the initial feelings would be the same. He thought about her coming home to him smelling like some other guy who wasn't him. Getting to understand that he wasn't enough for her; to have his feelings trampled on; to endanger his trust.

Garp's words resounded in his head, and he knew what he had to do. But he had to do whatever it took to reach his goal. Besides, at the end of the day it was just a prank. Harmless fun.

* * *

Nami was found in the kitchen stirring away at a pot of stew. She apparently did not come to meet him at the door because she had her earplugs in and the volume was at its highest. Caught up in singing along and dancing she was completely oblivious of her surroundings. The spoon made scraping sounds as it rubbed against the pot's sides. Whatever it was, to Luffy it smelled delicious.

As he leaned against the door post, watching her, he thought that he had come upon a jackpot. She was so darn cute when she was lost in her own world.

When the song came to an end, she had a taste of her creation and was immensely pleased with the taste. All she needed now was her husband's stamp of approval.

Before her senses could pick up that a figure had snuck up behind her, a pair of hands reached out and quickly grabbed her around the waist.

"Boo," said the voice and Nami screamed, dropping the spoon. Her heart was beating so loud in her ears that she didn't even hear it clang when it hit the floor.

'Shishishishishi'

"Luffy~!" she whined," How many times do I have to tell you not to sneak up on me like that?"

"You were so scared." 'Hahahahaha' He got her good this time.

Her shaking stopped and her breathing steadied. "I'm not falling for that again," she said.

"The food smells so good."

"Thanks." She worked really hard on it.

Her insides fluttered when Luffy moved hair from her face and kissed her temple and she smiled at the kiss placed on her exposed shoulder.

"I don't think that I'm hungry," he said in a low whisper and Nami's eyes widened as her face took on heat.

But right on time, his belly growled in protest, successfully murdering the mood.

She laughed and spun around in his arms. "You were saying?" On a second thought, she hadn't given him his 'welcome back' kiss as yet but before she could proceed, Luffy pulled her in for a tight hug.

She gasped as he squeezed her ribs and fortunately for her, he had loosened the hug enough for her to breathe again.

"Sorry."

"What's up with you today, Luffy?"

He didn't answer but seemed to relax as she looped an arm around his neck and had one wrapped around his waist, holding him just as close. His heart clenched pleasantly when she giggled as he rocked her slowly from side to side. He lived for moments like these when it was just him and her.

"I love you," he said. What he got wasn't an answer but an extra squeeze and truthfully, that was all he needed. And though he couldn't see her face, he could hear her smiling.

In the trash outside the apartment was the bag Usopp took care of preparing. On his finger, his ring was back in its rightful place.

He hated the idea of cheating just as much as she did. If she came home to him smelling like some guy who wasn't him, he'll be mad. He'll feel betrayed.

Hated the thought of someone else holding her like this, kissing her lips, taking his place. He wouldn't kill the bastard but he will do something pretty close. And for Nami, he wouldn't be able to look at her the same again. The thought alone made him sick to his stomach.

He couldn't bring himself to carry out the prank. He loved her too much.

The food was getting cold but that was the least of Nami's worries. Time always seemed to stop whenever he hugged her like this. She might just have a slight addiction to his hugs. They were that good. Nothing beats this feeling of being cherished.

"I was going to prank you today."

Her closed eyes peeled open and she stared deadpanned ahead of her.

"That again?"

"Yeah. And it was a really good one too."

"So why didn't you do it?"

"... I didn't like it. It was stupid."

Nami didn't hide the fact that she was curious. "Care to tell me about it?"

"No. You don't wanna know."

No further questions were asked. In fact, Nami wondered why she even bothered. Pranks were silly.

"Please tell me that that's the last of it."

"I can't promise that." 'Shishishishi'

"Seriously..." Nami muttered and her husband pulled away only a little to see her face, flashing a smile and grinning non-stop. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Hey Nami?"

"What?"

His eyes warmed as he fixed an orange strand behind her ear and his open hand came to rest on her cheek.

"Tell me something nice."

"Like what?"

"Anything."

Her cheeks glowed red when she smiled. How she could be this cute was beyond his comprehension.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

He kissed her right after those words left her lips. A kiss that was not chaste in the slightest.

Nami's knees gave in and Luffy was quick to hold her up. He smiled at her with their foreheads touching after the ordeal. Her eyes were hooded and dazed. It took a while for her to know herself again. He was teasing her and she knew it but couldn't bring herself to be mad.

"Just so you know, the next time you pull a prank on me, I would probably kill you."

"You won't."

"Try me." Nami couldn't keep a straight face and there was an evident swell in her cheeks. "Seriously, stop."

"I'm not ready to stop yet."

She gave him a look promising death but Luffy was still going to stick to his word.

* * *

Lucky for them, the food didn't have to revisit heat and to Nami's delight, Luffy enjoyed every bite.

As they cleaned up and exchanged little stories about their day, Luffy was thinking of a new prank. Usopp said that he needed to pass 4 pranks in total. And since he flushed this one down the drain, he had to come up with a new one. And fast.

 **To be continued...**


	4. The I'm-moving-out Prank

The idiot trio were seated around the table with concentration burning on their faces. Luffy hadn't come up with any good ones. All he suggested were shot down and deemed cheap with not enough punch.

Suddenly, the door opened revealing the archaeologist of the group. Sensing the odd tension, she said, "Captain-san, is this a bad time? Should I come back later?"

She was supposed to collect the report from the main office concerning their next mission. All jokes aside, he hadn't forgotten his position.

"No. You can bring the report, Robin. Thanks."

Robin smiled and after handing over the file, she checked her bag and handed Chopper a huge candy she bought on her way to work that morning.

She chuckled watching the young doctor's eyes turn wide like saucers with his mouth drooling. He grabbed at it, said a thank you and savoured each bite.

Chopper had a major sweet tooth and Robin had a soft spot for him and loved spoiling him whenever she got the chance.

"Is everything here, Robin?" Luffy asked skimming through the papers.

"Yes captain. I can help you with them in more detail tomorrow like I always do if you like."

"That'll help. Thanks."

Just then, Usopp had a great idea.

"Robin!"

"Yes?"

"Do you remember that time at the picnic when Luffy, Chopper and I snuck off to prank each other?"

"I do. You disappeared for hours."

"Great. Well Luffy wants to get better at it, and he's been practicing with Nami."

"I see."

"My question is if you can come up with any good pranks he could pull. We're at a dead-end."

Robin held her chin in thought. They needed her help and the least she could do was to do so as best as she could.

"I got it."

Usopp perked. "Let's hear it."

"Luffy could get some ketchup or some other red substance and pretend that he was murdered by some gruesome person seeking revenge... What do you think?"

Chills ran up and down Usopp's and Chopper's backs. Usopp should have known better than to ask Robin. He had a hunch that she was the type to keep skeletons under her bed. Robin was spineless when it came to topics of death.

"That's too dirty, Robin!" Luffy said, "Like that'll ever happen. I'm strong remember?"

"Okay. How about-?"

She stopped when both Usopp's hands were placed on her shoulders. He laughed nervously. "Good work today, Robin," He moved her towards the door. "Thanks for your help. Have a good weekend, okay?"

"What about the-?"

"Don't worry about that. Because of you, I've come up with something good."

"That's good then. Bye everyone." Robin waved and took her leave. She liked helping. It gave her reason.

When the door closed, Usopp breathed a sigh of relief. Now that was taken care of, they could now proceed to the plan.

"Luffy, do you miss your old place?"

"Not really but I do sometimes."

Usopp grinned thinking himself to be a pranking genius. He returned to his seat loving the attention he was receiving.

"Here's the plan: ..."

* * *

 **Prank #3: The I'm-moving-out Prank**

Nami retrieved the extra large pillows from the closet along with a blanket and positioned them on the couch in the living room.

This week it was her turn to choose what she and Luffy were going to do for date night. She thought about it all day and thought it a brilliant idea for them to stay in and have a movie night in the comfort of their own home.

Nami had called the bakery down the street to deliver some treats. She made sure to get something that was one of her husband's favourites as a surprise. Date night was scheduled for at least once a week. Tonight, Nami made all the plans without Luffy's knowledge. Needless to say, he had been working so hard with the missions and all so she wanted to show her appreciation for him by making tonight special. He could choose whatever movie he wanted to watch and if he wanted to cuddle or occupy her lap as a pillow, she was more than willing to do so. He wouldn't be the only one enjoying it.

Presently, she had already taken a seat at her side of the couch waiting for him to make an appearance. She stretched and ran her fingers through her hair, tossing it all back to dangle behind her shoulders; contemplating whether or not she had a hair tie close by so she could put her hair up in a pony tail.

Finally, Luffy emerged from his room. The last thing she remembered him doing was taking a shower. Now instead of being dressed in his favourite sleep wear, he was dressed like he was going on a trip. Nami narrowed her eyes at the large gym bag hanging from over his shoulder and a mini suitcase wheeling behind him. They were both bulging with who-knows-what.

"Where are you going?" She didn't recall him saying that he had to travel for work anytime soon so curiosity was at its peak.

"Out."

"Out where?"

"Back to my dad's place. I'm moving out."

Nami's throat went dry; her eyebrows furrowed and she couldn't make sense of what her husband was saying.

"But why?"

"I miss home. I miss my dad most of all. Even though all we ever did was fight, I still miss him."

"Luffy, it's okay to feel that way. I miss my parents and my home too. But that's not a good reason to get up and leave. I mean, we didn't even talk about this."

"I know but this place is too small. My house is much bigger. My old room doesn't even compare to the one I have now. There's not even a pool here."

Nami could not believe her ears. She stood and looked him over with a deep frown.

"You're sounding like a spoiled brat. And what's that about a pool? You can't even swim. I don't know where all this is coming from but I need you to drop those bags and come over here so we can talk about this seriously... I can't believe this is happening."

Luffy gulped silently, twitching with joy that she had taken the bait. He was beginning to smile but when Nami looked at him again, he lost it and straightened back up.

"No. I already decided that I'm going tonight. I'll come back soon for my other things."

"Oh no you don't." Nami stomped over to him and blocked the door. "What about me, huh? Have you forgotten that you have a wife?"

"You can come too if you want."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You don't just leave an apartment like that. There's plenty of paperwork involved. And I actually like it here. It's our home."

"Well you'll just have to live by yourself."

"I don't want to."

"You can always go back to your parents' then. You miss them, right?"

Nami placed a hand on her forehead. It was beginning to hurt. How did their peaceful date night turn into this?

"Are you saying that you don't want to live with me anymore? I don't understand... What did I do to upset you? Where did I go wrong?"

"It's not that. It's not your fault." Luffy observed how her bright eyes lost their luster as she stared back at him. He didn't like that he was worrying her but it was all a part of the plan.

"Then what is it then?" Her husband was being indifferent about the whole situation and it was irking her to no end. He wasn't even explaining himself properly.

"I told you already. I miss home. I'm homesick."

"What about all the memories we created here? Are you going to leave all that behind?"

"Yeah."

Nami's eyes went wide. To hell with being worried. Anger coursed through her veins and Luffy who was no stranger to her wrath, tried to find the quickest way out. He abandoned the bags and ran but a hard blow was delivered to his skull. It hurt like hell and two large swollen lumps appeared at the top of his head when he collapsed on the floor. He cried out and folded into himself in case there was more to come.

"That's what you get for being a selfish bastard," Nami said leering at him. Her fist stung from the assault but it made her feel better to some extent. "This isn't how things work around here, Luffy. Decisions are made together. Not by yourself. Is that clear?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He had made sure to choose his words wisely.

"Good." Her eyes wandered back to the discarded bags on the floor. "What do you have in here anyway?"

The instant her hands touched the zipper, Luffy's heart beat sped up at an abnormal rate. He was screwed. His ears followed the sounds of the zipper's journey from one end to the other and after a little rummaging came silence.

"Luffy dear~" Her voice was sickeningly sweet and Luffy silently prayed for his life.

He turned to smile nervously as she removed the sheet that covered the bag's stuffing and she emptied it upside down. What came out was rolls and rolls of toilet paper that skid across the floor, going this way and that. The other bag had in the same thing.

Nami's smile was tight while a dark aura surrounded her.

"It was a prank."

"...Oh. Okay." She began her walk towards him and Luffy was this close to wetting his pants but to his relief, she went for the house phone instead. At this point, Luffy was oblivious as to what was about to go down.

From his spot on the floor, Nami locked eyes with him as the phone dialed and the minute someone picked up, she smirked and cleared her throat.

"Hello. This is Nami. I'm calling about an order I made at your bakery this morning. Yes, the double chocolate chip with the extra fluffy banana icing."

Luffy's mouth watered. He loved that flavour. They sold it once a month.

"Yes. The date night I had planned with my lovely husband is off. So cancel it. Yes. All three cakes." She made sure she catered to Luffy's monstrous appetite but it was too bad. He called it upon himself.

"No Nami. You can't. Wait. I'm sorry."

"Okay. That's all. Thank you. Bye."

She replaced the phone and took pleasure in the sight of her husband's deflated state.

"I had a whole night planned for us, Luffy. But you ruined it. I'm going to work on my maps now." Before she disappeared to her space, she regarded him one final time. This time her voice was firm, reminding him how he used to be scolded by his father.

"Do me a favour and clean this shit up. And I want you to reflect on your actions."

Nami left not caring for a response. Luffy was smart enough to not go against her wishes.

The prank was a success but he mourned the loss of the date night and the double chocolate cake. It wasn't worth it. Didn't even get a goodnight kiss.

He hung his head low and set to work. It wasn't worth it.

* * *

Luffy found it difficult to sleep. Couldn't stop tossing and turning. 'Twas an hour since the incident and he couldn't shake off how angry Nami had been.

He escaped his thoughts when a soft knock came at the door. Shuffling to get out of bed, he opened the door to find no one there but upon looking down, he saw a sizeable slice of cake Nami ordered on a clean, white plate accompanied by a large silver fork.

Luffy's surprise evolved to relief and joy. His wife was no where in sight but as he bent down to pick up the plate, a note was found underneath.

 _Two can play at that game, Luffy._

 _I just wanted to say that I forgive you. There's more cake in the fridge if what I've cut for you isn't enough._

 _I'm working so don't come and disturb me. Goodnight._

 _Love,_

 _Nami_

* * *

The next day, Nami awoke in her bed and smiled using an ink-stained hand to rub the tired away from her eyes. Last night she had fallen asleep at her desk and Luffy had come in to lift her to bed and tuck her in. She was out cold but she knew that that's what had happened. It was not the first time.

The paper she left the note on for him was on top her covers and she read the reverse to find his sloppy handwriting. The sweet gesture made her happy. She loved the little things he did.

It read,

 _Hi Nami. I came after a while you left me the delicious slice of cake to thank you but you were fast asleep. So I thought I could do so by leaving you this note. Thank you._

 _You got me real good last night. You're amazing. To make it up to you, let's have that date tonight. I didn't eat anymore cake because I'd rather share it with you. I'm looking forward to it._

 _If we ever have to leave this apartment, I would hate to go. It's our first home together and the memories we've created here are irreplaceable._

 _That's all for now. Hurry up and get out of bed so we can make breakfast._

 _Love,_

 _Luffy_

Nami rolled her eyes at the thought of leaving bed so she secured the note under her pillow and made herself comfortable pulling up the covers more under her neck.

If he wanted her, he knew where to find her.

 **To be continued...**


	5. The I-don't-want-kids Prank

Today was unusually special.

When the sun busied itself making its journey into the sky to symbolize yet another day, Luffy broke away from sleep. As his eyes came into focus, they widened with a start. Just a few inches away was his wife, wide awake, lying down on her side, watching him with a sample of one of her prettiest smiles.

When she invited herself in, he had no idea but his first emotional response was that of elation.

Not wasting anymore time, he snaked an arm around her encouraging her to come closer- which she did. With their arms around each other and legs interlaced, they made conversation in the form of exchanged kisses and sweet words, trying their hardest to make each other smile and laugh.

Somewhere along the line, Nami announced that she made his favourite tea and sure enough, the air was filled with citrusy goodness. But with both of them being stubborn to boot, it grew cold. Forgotten.

They had a whole day of activity ahead of them and Nami was in a good mood. Unfortunately, it was the day he planned on carrying out the next prank. It wasn't going to end well but it was worth a shot.

* * *

 **Prank #5: The I-don't-want-kids Prank**

On the days he wasn't working for the government, Issho was occupied with his second job and hobby: being a taxi driver.

He loved the job. It was a great escape from the gross evil in the world today. He was most at peace behind the wheel catering to clients whether male, female, fat, skinny, short or tall, he didn't know. Didn't have to. His job was to take them to whatever destination they needed to be. A simple job, really.

For his present assignment, he was called for a pick-up outside a famous local ice rink. The time was long after noon and by the sounds of the pitter-patter on the car's roof and windows, it was raining not too heavy but not too light. Kind of like the impatient drumming of one's fingers.

Suddenly, there came scrambling of feet and the sound of laughter. His clients had arrived.

"I can tell that you guys had a good time," Issho said, smiling to himself. He liked picking up couples. They told the best stories.

"Yes. We did," Nami said, eyes not leaving her husband's and after giving the details for their next stop, she surprised Luffy with a quick, fleeting kiss to the lips and knowing Luffy, it didn't stop there.

As much as Issho loved the rain, it didn't help drown out the smacking of lips. It made him uncomfortable, embarrassed even and it was days like this he was thankful that the vehicle had a built in partition. It didn't drown out all sounds completely but it did the job.

* * *

Nami stared out the window with her head leaning in an open palm listening to the car wheels skating through wet streets and the back and forth rhythmic movement of the window wipers. The downpour increased and she breathed a sigh. She knew that it was going to rain today but she was glad that she made the effort and stuck with the day's plan.

On the other hand, Luffy stared down at their clasped hands appearing to be in deep thought. Now was a great time to initiate the plan. Two months had passed since he attempted to move out and today, at this moment, he wanted to try his luck. Nodding to himself, he began:

"Thanks for coming with me, Nami."

He had asked her to ever since he saw the place being set up and he was happy that she agreed.

Nami turned and flashed a grin. "No problem. I had fun."

Neither of them knew how to skate. Nami, being a fast learner, caught on easily but Luffy just had to fall 15 times flat on his face first before gaining balance. Nami laughed every time but celebrated once he finally did it. She remembered his smug face as if acquiring a pass to be one of the cool kids.

Nami saw the slow fall of his smile and watched as his eyes lower down to stare at his knees but before she could inquire about what was troubling him, he spoke.

"Nami... I have something to say."

"Something wrong?"

The long silence that followed worried her and she gave his hand a squeeze.

"You've done such a good job with your training and I'm proud of you for working so hard. A month ago, you went on your first mission with us. You officially became a part of our team and you did your best... do you like working with us?"

"I do. I enjoyed every second of it."

Nami had really outdid herself, finishing her training a month early so she could go with Luffy and the rest of the group on a relief mission offering aid to women and children in need. The truth was that she didn't expect to enjoy it as much as she did. However, one thing for sure Nami couldn't get enough of was the children. Catering to their every need, making sure there wasn't a tearful face in sight; This did not go unnoticed by her husband. Especially when she would look on with longing at the happy mothers catering to their offspring. The sight warmed her heart.

"I've seen how well you've worked with those kids. They really appreciated you."

"..."

"And I know how badly you want to be a mother but I think that we should reconsider."

Nami's heart thumped hard against her chest. She didn't want to believe her ears.

"What are you saying?" She managed to smile a little. "This is a joke, right?"

It was then Luffy turned to look at her.

"No. It's not. I've given it some thought- a lot of thought and I think that it's for the best. I'm sorry."

He faltered a bit when a single tear emerged from her eyes and flowed down her cheek, dripping onto her lap. More followed soon after.

Nami padded at her eyes with her hands and heaved a shaky breath but tried to keep her voice as calm as possible.

"Why are you telling me this now, Luffy? On the day we're supposed to visit my parents to celebrate their anniversary?"

"I... I don't know. It's been on my chest for a while so I thought-"

"Thought what? Did you think that I'd be fine with this?" It was beginning to feel like the worst day of her life. "I need an explanation from you, Luffy."

"I didn't think that... You've seen how demanding the field is and what about you? You're busy with your maps. How are we ever going to have time for a child?"

"... Despite my being busy, I still make time for other things- I make time for you. I can sure as hell make time for a child."

"That's true but do you think that you could do it on your own?"

The minute he said those words, he wished he could have taken them back. Nami sobbed in her hands. He tried reaching out to her.

"Don't touch me."

"Please stop crying."

Nami looked at him like he had grown a second head.

"And whose fault is it why I'm crying my heart out? All that talk we had about having children now seems like a big joke. I was even fooled that you wanted to become a parent much more than I did. It was something we looked forward to... Something _I_ wanted. You don't care about me."

"That's not true."

"Then what is?"

Silence fell between them. Nami desperately wanted answers but Luffy broke eye contact. He didn't expect the situation to get so out of hand.

His attention was bought back when Nami started beating on the partition, telling the driver to stop. Once the vehicle came to a halt, she unlocked the door and ran out as fast as her feet could take her.

Luffy came out after her and called out but she didn't stop. Luckily the rain had slowed to a light drizzle and looking around, Luffy saw that his inlaws' was less than a block away.

He watched her disappear behind a corner and gave up. She was not going to stop no matter how many times he called her. That was a given.

Hesitant at first, Issho rolled down his window to address the remaining passenger.

"Was that your girlfriend?"

"No. My wife."

"She sounded upset. I hope that everything works out between you two."

"Don't worry about that. We'll be okay."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure." Luffy smiled to himself, deciding that he would walk the rest of the way but before he could ask the driver how much he owed him, Luffy blinked and waved a hand in front of the guy's face.

"Please don't do that," he said.

"Hey mister," Luffy began,"Are you blind?"

"I am."

"What?!" Luffy's jaw dropped to the floor. "How do you drive? That's kind of cool!" Luffy' cheeks tinged at the awesomeness. You didn't come across things like this everyday. He couldn't wait to tell his friends. But something else was bugging him (Little did he know that Issho sported a disguise). The taxi driver looked oddly familiar.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Should you be concerned about that now? My name does not matter. Go to your wife."

"Oh." Luffy thumped his palm with a fist. "You're right." He ran off and turned back.

"How much do I owe you, mister?"

"No worries. I did my job. Now it's up to you to do yours."

Luffy grinned a wide grin. This guy was nice and he liked him. Liked his spirit. After thanking him, he was on his way. Didn't even know what to expect but pressed on, hoping for the best.

* * *

Genzo was on edge. Earlier, his daughter burst through the front door in tears without her husband in tow and his first instinct was to kill him for making his little girl cry.

When he and Bellemere finally calmed her down, they burdened her with questions. Only answer they got was that she and Luffy were in a fight but she refused to say what it entailed; Deeming it as she and her husband's problem, not theirs. No amount of coaxing could get her to spill the beans.

While making way to her old room, she made them know that she will be okay but this didn't satisfy her father one bit. All he wanted to do was help and as if sensing his anger, Nami made him promise not to hurt Luffy (Even though she was well aware of the vast difference in strength she made sure she had his word.).

Now Genzo sat pissed at his weakness. When it came to Nami, he couldn't say no.

Just then, Bellemere came to join him, handing him a glass of lemonade.

"Still thinking about it?"

"Of course I am. Aren't you?"

"Nope. Not really."

"How could you?"

"Nami said it's none of our business. It's theirs. It's just a fight. They'll figure it out."

"But Nami came to us crying..."

"That she did but you know that our son-in-law will never do anything to hurt her."

"That's true."

"We know our daughter. Nami's just having one of her 'moments'. Besides, it's our anniversary. Don't you have someone else you should be focusing on, old man?"

Bellemere winked with a seductive smile playing on her lips and Genzo's face bloomed like a rose.

"I-uh-uh..."

A knock came at the door and in came their son-in-law with sweat beading down his temple.

Upon noticing that he had become a spectacle for his in-laws, he bowed his head low.

"I made Nami cry and I'm very sorry about that."

Bellemere smiled, relieved to finally see him.

"Nami's in her room. Hurry and go cheer her up. Dinner would be ready soon."

"Thanks," Luffy said with a grateful curve of his lips but just as he could take his leave, Genzo cleared his throat.

"Luffy."

"Yes sir?"

"I don't know what the both of you are on about but what I want to say is good luck."

Luffy thanked his father-in-law. He was a little surprised. Thought that Genzo would have attacked him head on as soon as he entered the house but everything worked out fine.

Bellemere couldn't be more proud of her husband. She made a mental note to put an extra helping of lasagna on his plate tonight. Just the way he liked it.

* * *

Luffy didn't bother knocking. The unlocked door was all the invitation he needed.

Seated on the floor with her back against the wall, Nami looked up and said,"What took you so long?"

"Sorry. It took me some time to get here, I also had to deal with the taxi driver."

He sat down close next to her and grinned at the cute way she patted her cheeks. She tended to do that whenever she wanted to calm herself down."

"I'm sorry that I ran off like that."

"That's okay... Hey, you know, after you left, I found out something cool."

"What?"

"Our driver was blind."

"You're kidding." She couldn't believe it.

"I'm not. He said so himself."

"Woah. This world sure is mysterious, huh?"

"Yeah. Mysteri-Mysterii-"

"Mysterious."

"Right, right."

Nami snorted and laughed then he followed along. Luffy sure had a way with words.

Dissolving into a silence, Nami took a deep breath deciding after a long debate that she would be the first to talk about their fight. It had always worked out best when they resolved their arguments as soon as possible.

"I overreacted a bit too much back there, didn't I?"

"Not really."

" _Yes_ really. I didn't mean half the things I said. You know that."

"Yeah."

"And I'm sorry for what I said. It was uncalled for."

"..."

"I gave it some thought- I really did. You said that you've thought about it seriously yourself and I want you to know that I respect your decision. It's still hard for me to come to terms with it but I'll try."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. Having children is a huge step- a step that I thought both of us were ready for when the time is right... I feared the worst. After seeing for myself how busy you get at times, I thought of us having this very conversation sooner or later. I didn't want this day to come but it did. And though my job is to support you, I reacted badly. Even said that those selfish tears were your fault..."

"Nami..."

"I've never told you this but I would put my life on the line for you."

"Don't say that."

"You deserve to know how I feel about you, Luffy. I'm not saying that I don't value my life... It's just that it terrifies me how much I love you."

She didn't even want to rely on the possibility of him changing his mind. Compromise was a major part of their marriage.

Luffy, rendered speechless attempted to carefully touch her hand but she had quickly moved it away and just when he was about to sulk, she circled her arms around his neck and brought him close.

His shock disappeared when a sense of peace came over him as he surrounded her in his embrace.

"You know what, Nami?"

"What?"

"I'd die for you too."

"Don't say that. Do you want me to cry again?"

"But it's the truth... I don't think I tell you how much I love you enough. I'm sorry about that."

"That's okay."

He didn't have to. She recalled not too long ago when Luffy noticed the trend in movies where guys try too hard either by exhausting their wallets or the extravagant declarations of love. He became worried that he was doing something wrong.

Once breaking the news to her, Nami laughed. Buffered his concerns by telling him that he was doing more than enough. The fictional characters on television were all bark and no bite. Luffy in contrast was a man of action. She knew the extent of his love he had for her, not only by words- talk was cheap- She felt it in every touch; every look; every kiss; every smile.

While Nami buried her face in his shoulder, realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Hey Luffy. This is a prank, isn't it?"

"Yup." 'Shishishishi' "How did you figure it out?"

"I just did. I shouldn't encourage it but I'm impressed." She faced his smiling face, arms never leaving his shoulders. "Whose idea was it? Usopp's? Chopper's? Robin's?"

"It was mine."

"I have to say that that's your best one yet."

'Shishishishi' "Thanks."

Inside, Nami was bouncing off walls with relief but on the outside, she wanted to show that she was not pleased with his little 'games'.

"I hope that when I do get pregnant that I end up with quadruplets so that you would regret ever pranking your wife."

"Quaduplets? What's that?"

"Four babies at once."

"Woah! Are you saying that 4 babies can fit in here?" He caressed her stomach and she blushed. "That's so cool."

Not the reaction Nami was hoping for...

"That means four times the trouble, you know."

"So what? As long as they're happy, that's all that matters, right?"

Still not the reaction she wanted...

"It doesn't matter how much or how little we have, all I know is that it'll be something that we made together. I want this just as much as you do. We'll be ready and we'll be great parents. Trust me."

Nami tried fighting it but smiled big and wide and somewhere in the midst of her happiness, she kissed him.

"You win." she admitted, "Now just do me a favour - and I want you to listen this time- Please stop with the pranks."

"Okay."

Nami blinked. Never expected it to be so easy.

"Are you serious?"

"Yup. I'll stop."

"Thank you."

"By the way, Nami..." Luffy saw her yawn and took note of her heavy eyelids. "You look tired."

"You think?"

In addition to being mentally exhausted, she had been up late the night before trying to get an order done in time for a client. Not to mention their fun date and now having to have dinner in celebration of her parents' anniversary.

'Haggard' was the word she was looking for.

* * *

Dragon pulled up in the drive way and exited his car, not bothering to lock it. It wasn't everyday he got invited to dinner so he made sure to pounce on the opportunities whenever they came around. He knew that he had to get out more but he was a man who enjoyed his solitude.

Genzo invited him in and after giving the place a once over, he asked,"Are they here yet?"

"Yes. It's been an hour and a half since they arrived," Bellemere said,"We were just about to call them down to eat. Do you want to tag along?"

Dragon shrugged and as they made their journey he learned that his son had had a fight with his sweet daughter-in-law. If Luffy hadn't resolved it, he planned on pounding some manners into him. He raised him better than that.

Genzo did the honours and knocked on the door first before pushing it open. What they saw inside sent fiery blushes on their faces.

From the bed, Nami laid close to Luffy, snoring lightly with her arm around him. Luffy was not tired to begin with so he occupied the time by watching her sleep. Once disturbed, he peeled his eyes away and looked at the parents. Assuming that dinner was ready, he nudged Nami enough to lull her our of her sleep.

"What is it?" she slurred.

"Your folks are here. I think it's time for us to go down and eat."

Nami prodded herself up on her arm and turned, annoyed at the disturbance. "5 more minutes."

"But Nami, the food will get cold." said Genzo but it was gonna take more than that to convince her.

"5 more minutes, please. And make sure to close the door behind you on your way out."

She reclaimed her original spot. Being the push-over father he was, Genzo sighed and did what she asked.

"Woah," said Bellemere," Did you guys see that?" She followed after the two men.

"Let's not talk about that, please," mumbled Genzo.

"Agreed," said Dragon.

Young people were so shameless nowadays. What has been seen could not be unseen.

* * *

Not feeling quite as comfortable as when she fell asleep at first, Nami laid wide awake wishing that Luffy would hold her like how he did before. He had a hand draped across her waist and after a little movement from his side, it dawned on her.

"Luffy," she seethed between her teeth.

"Hm?"

"Were you touching my butt this entire time?" With his free hand in her pants, cupping a cheek, he squeezed it for added measure.

"Yeah. So?"

"My parents saw. Your _dad_ saw. What the hell were you thinking? This isn't our home."

"I wanted to so I did."

Nami gave up. "You're unbelievable." She tried settling back down but that didn't come easy when you were married to a ball of energy like Monkey D. Luffy.

"Hey Nami."

"What is it Luffy?"

"When we go home, let's shower together. I'll even wash your back."

"Yeah right. Isn't that just a lame excuse to stare at my butt the entire time?"

"Maybe."

Nami hooded her eyes and smirked. "I'll think about it."

Thinking that he had enough, she replaced his arm around her the right way and he didn't hesitate to hold her close.

"I think that those 5 minutes are up." Luffy said absentmindedly, randomly pecking her forehead causing her lips to settle into a gentle smile.

"10 more."

 **To be continued...**


	6. The Pranking Legend

Have you ever had that nagging feeling that something was wrong? Well, our favourite sharpshooter was in this very predicament.

All week, the seat next to the captain's remained empty and strange enough, no one questioned it. Although Nami didn't make it to the office everyday, to be missing all week was so unlike her. He played it off as her being sick but in addition to that, there was something else; A bad vibe in the air which was suffocating. Then again, no one talked about it and Usopp played along thinking that it was all in his head.

However, on the last day of work week when everyone was about to bid their farewells, Luffy called him out saying that he had to discuss a matter with him alone. All turned to him with pity in their eyes and Usopp knew that something was wrong. Was really sure this time.

* * *

The meeting place was at the very back of Monkey D. Corps. The sun had already begun its decent and the air grew still.

Usopp met his captain leaning against the wall; eyes observing the gallant sunset. But when it was time to face him, Usopp's smile disappeared. The jolly greeting he planned on saying was forgotten.

"Luffy... Is everything okay?"

"No."

Usopp gulped. Was never a fan of bad news.

"Is it about Nami?"

As soon as his wife name was mentioned, Luffy turned away and covered his eyes, heaving a sob. Usopp's stomach knotted at the sight of fallen tears.

Luffy felt a hand on his shoulder but quickly shook it off. The message was clear: He didn't want the sniper's comfort. Usopp was not going to lie; It hurt.

"It's over."

"What's over?"

"Our marriage. Nami wants a divorce."

"But why?"

Usopp's eyes were wide open. What he was hearing was the unthinkable. Where was all this coming from?

Luffy turned and had appeared to manage to sieze the waterworks. Previous tears were smeared across his face and his eyes were red from what appeared to be from a lack of sleep. Usopp had never seen his captain so stressed.

"It was those pranks."

Usopp gasped and his body quivered but continued listening to what had to be said.

"Even though she asked me to stop countless times, I couldn't. I took advantage of her and one day she said that she didn't think that she could trust me anymore and took her stuff and left... I didn't understand. Weren't pranks just all about having fun, Usopp?"

Usopp did not know what to say. He turned his captain into a monster; He ruined his life.

"Is she serious?" Usopp didn't regret his choice of words until he saw his captain frown. He didn't plan on getting on his bad side. "Don't answer that... Look, Luffy. I can't help but feel responsible for all this."

"It's not your fault. It's mine for listening to you in the first place."

Usopp rubbed the back of his neck. "Where's Nami now?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I want to apologize. Maybe together we can change her mind."

"I've apologized to her so many times now and haven't had any luck. What makes you think that you have a chance?"

"You're right. I'm sorry. But you two can't just finish it like that. Don't you love each other?"

Luffy did not answer. Usopp mentally slapped himself. He kept forgetting the seriousness of the situation. Divorce was not just a wild idea someone came up with on a whim. It took lots of thought. Love wasn't the only factor that kept two people together. It was much more than that.

"You're fired."

Usopp eyes shot up with fear to look at his captain, his companion, his most trusted friend.

"What? You can't do that."

"Give me one reason why."

"What about all that we've been through together all these years? I mean, come on, Luffy. We're friends."

"Yeah. We were. But after what happened that cost me my marriage, I don't think that we should be friends anymore.

Nami was right. You are a bad influence. If I had listened to her, we would still be together." Luffy's voice broke mourning the loss of his wife and now he was going to lose a friend.

"I loved her more than life, Usopp. More than all those adventures, more than anything. And now she's gone.

I'm sorry that it turned out like this, Usopp. But I believe that it's for the best."

At this point, Usopp had already began to cry. Tears raced out his eyes one after the other and he nodded understanding his captain's plight. Every man under the sun should in whatever shape or form pay for his sins. This was for the best.

He bowed low, expressing his final sincere apologies; also asking of the captain to give the others his best regards. His only regret was not being able to see the real victim whom was in the middle of all this mess.

* * *

During the journey home, he walked with heavy feet and what felt like the whole universe on his shoulders. Some people went about their lives after having a history of murders under their belts without batting an eye. But in Usopp's case, what he did to his best friend felt much worse.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his cellphone ring and after fishing for it out his shoulder bag, he answered it without checking the ID.

"Hello?"

"Yo Usopp."

Usopp's throat went tight and he tugged at his collar. It was his captain.

"I got you real good back there, huh?"

"Huh?"

"That was a prank."

Usopp's jaw cracked the sidewalk.

"Shishishishishi'

"Was all that really a prank?"

"Yeah."

"Everything?"

"That's what I said. Anyways, Nami and Chopper have been tailing you this entire time. She said that you looked like a walking zombie. Everyone's meeting at Makino's for a party. Sanji's trying out a new dish and something tells me that it's gonna be good. See you when you get here. Bye."

The line died and Usopp was overwhelmed by a hurricane of relief that overtook him.

Turning around, he saw Nami eyeing him from the driver's seat of Luffy's car, all buckled up, tapping an impatient finger on the steering wheel. Chopper waved at him from the backseat.

He chose to sit next to the driver and was floored when she smiled giving him a genuine look of concern.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"Yeah... Where were you all week?"

"I took the week off. Didn't Luffy tell you?"

"No."

Nami put the car in "Drive" and began the journey.

"Just so you know, I didn't have any part in this," she said, "I'm just the driver."

Usopp's eyes popped out. "So you didn't give him any ideas?"

"Nope. All he said was that he was going to prank you. What did he tell you for you to look so sad?"

"You seriously have no clue?"

"Not one."

"He fired me after saying that I was a catalyst for why you wanted to divorce him."

Nami almost slammed the breaks but remembered that she was on a highway.

"He did what?!" Her knuckles tightened on the wheel. "I'm sorry about that, Usopp."

"No. I should be the one saying sorry to you, Nami. I am the reason Luffy's this way. Even had him use you as a guinea pig."

"I just hope that you've learned your lesson," Nami said, throwing him a look.

"You guys have to admit that that prank was pure genius," Chopper said.

Both in front nodded.

Usopp decided it a great idea to lighten up the mood.

"I'm surprised that he even was able to fool a pranking legend such as myself."

Chopper looked at him unimpressed.

"I think that we all know who that title goes to..." he mocked and Usopp sulked, admitting defeat. Afterall, what kind of legend falls for the old "Your-shoelaces-are-untied" trick?

"Okay-okay. I get it. Luffy wins. But at least, it's not canon, right?"

As Usopp chuckled, he noticed the chill in the air.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that," said Nami, indicating into a lane; eyes never leaving the road.

"What? Was it what I said about this whole series not being canon?"

Chopper's hair on his skin stood straight and his teeth chattered in fright.

"Usopp, I don't know if you've lived under a rock your whole life but the ultimate rule is to never break the fourth wall."

"What happens if I do?"

Nami couldn't take it anymore.

"Will you two please keep quiet about that? I've heard stories of people who have died daring to break it. If you wish to live another day, stop talking. Please."

"I've heard about that but isn't it different if it's non-canon? I thought that-"

"Usopp!" Chopper and Nami yelled but it was too late. Things around them seemed to freeze with time. The cars stopped driving simultaneously, there was a pause to the dancing act of a free, white plastic bag and the birds in the sky stopped mid-flight. Nothing moved. Everything had grown quiet.

"What the hell is going on?" Usopp tried pinching himself but only found that he was not dreaming.

Chopper bawled in the backseat and Nami after numerous tries, could not get the car to start. She gave up and stared ahead of her with a blank expression knowing to herself that not ever her dear husband could save her now. They were doomed.

"All this because I broke the fourth wall?"

All eyes were on the blabbermouth.

"What?"

Sadly for Usopp and his friends, that was the final straw. Like a light switched off, everything around them was lost to darkness. Each held their breaths. And if that was not the worst that could happen, they felt an earthquake and all grabbed onto each other screaming at the top of their lungs.

They heard the floor breaking up and the car was plunged into what seemed like a never-ending pit.

"Do something, Usopp," Nami begged.

"Why me?"

"You're the one that got us into this mess!"

"Oh. Right."

"Hurry up, Usopp. Please. I don't wanna die!" Chopper cried. Nami held him closer and leered at the perpetrator for endangering their lives.

Usopp gulped and began prostrating himself over and over again begging for forgiveness; Asking that the lives of his friends be saved over his due to his carelessness. He had never been so afraid.

After having my fun, I snapped my fingers and everything went back to normal.

Nami, Usopp and Chopper slowly peeked open their eyes and reluctantly released one another; seeing after great inspection of their surroundings that they were parked in front of 'Party's Bar'.

More than thankful that she had been given another shot at life, Nami left the two idiots in the vehicle and ran to meet her husband.

Usopp and Chopper looked at each other at the same time.

"Are you sure you've learned your lesson, Usopp?"

"Yeah. Pranks are stupid. Not all pranks are harmless or fun. People can get hurt."

"And?"

The doctor stared at him long and hard. That was a trick question.

"I've learned a lot today, Chopper. I'm a changed man. Now let's go have some fun. Luffy's waiting on us."

Chopper grinned and followed the sharpshooter inside to meet the rest of the crew.

"Good answer."

 **-End-**


End file.
